An Awful Lot of Running
by Meer-Katnip
Summary: "Our lives are different to anybody else's, guys, and that's the exciting thing! Because nobody in the universe can do what we're doing." COMPLETED (ish)
1. Episode 1:1

**Episode 1:1- A Christmas Tail**

Jackie Tyler looked up from a steaming hot cup of tea when a loud crash echoed throughout the Powell Estates. She groaned. It was entirely too early for this. She listened carefully for the inevitable gaggle of gossipping neighbours that would most definitely stampede down the stairs to see what the latest scandal was, and heard nothing.

Five days until Christmas. She could do without this.

Groaning once more, she got to her feet, and threw a white terry-cloth dressing gown over her nightie. Cup of tea still in hand, she went to the door, unlocked it, and headed down the metal staircase behind the apartment block. The loud crash had come from somewhere down there.

Looking around curiously, Jackie saw a cardboard box that sat to the side, smoking slightly, but thought nothing of it, looking instead for whatever had caused the crash.

The top flaps of the cardboard box flew open, and a hand shot out, gripping the side of the box tightly.

Pink nail polish.

"Rose?" Jackie asked tentatively. "Rose, sweetie? Is that you?"

* * *

 **OPENING CREDITS**

* * *

 **Hello, humble readers, and welcome to Season 2 of this insane little series that everyone seems to like. Sorry for the one year wait...? Uh, it's worth mentioning that I don't know if I can update too consistently with this story. There's a lot of stuff going on at the moment.**

 **Anyway, Calvin, Hobbes, Rose, Sentience, Ace, and a whole cast of others are back! Be prepared for lots of things like explosions, pop culture references, plans that are likely to go horribly wrong, and weird timey-wimey stuff. Also, I'm currently _very_ obsessed with Undertale, so you might see quite a bit of that in later chapters. **

**Credit for the discussion in the console room next chapter goes to Grizzmon, who was bouncing ideas off me. Thanks for that. ^-^**

 **Actually, I'd like to say on that note that it would be great if people could stop sending me ideas and snippets to include in the story, since I have a plan and I really don't want to derail it any more than it already has gone. :) However, I'm completely okay with people sending in Omakes for me to put _after_ the story, since I enjoy reading those very much!**

 **No cover art for this story, so I'm using a random image I found. :(**

 **Some of these episodes might be a little shorter than normal, and others might be longer. I'm sorry if some things don't make much sense. There's a lot of talking and dealing with stuff this episode. Sorry 'bout that. Onwards with the story!**

* * *

" _Gah!_ " Rose flew out entirely, landing on the ground. "All clear! Come on out!"

"All right!" A feline form pounced out, hit the asphalt gracefully, and began checking itself for battle wounds. "Nice flying skills, Sentience!"

"I wasn't _trying_ ," came an American accent. "I just let the Time Machine go where ever it felt like."

"You _are_ the Time Machine," said another unfamiliar voice. A woman that looked to be about in her twenties flew out as well. She straightened her black bomber jacket apologetically. "Sorry about this. We'll be out of your hair soon."

"Rose?" Jackie repeated. "Are these your friends? Where's that Calvin boy?"

Rose got up carefully, as if afraid to break bones. "Yeah, these are my... friends."

"And Calvin..." Hobbes grimaced slightly. "He's... indisposed."

Something that looked like a forklift slowly protruded out of the top of the cardboard box. On top of the three forks was the unconscious figure of Calvin.

Ace tilted her head. "Yeah, a rescue mission got... _slightly_ out of hand."

Jackie stared. "You're telling me. What on _earth_ are you wearing?"

Ace scowled. "These are my normal clothes."

Rose helped Hobbes lift Calvin off the forklift, which retreated back into the Time Machine. She held him up, looking momentarily conflicted. "What do we do with him?"

Jackie sighed. "We'd better take him into the apartment, or the neighbours will talk."

* * *

"Nice place," Ace said dryly, swinging her satchel from her shoulder and throwing it to the ground. Hobbes eyed it with some trepidation, knowing what was inside.

"I don't remember inviting _you_ inside," scowled Jackie, and locked the door. She had taken an instant dislike to Ace, for some unknown reason.

"I invited myself," said Ace primly. "Besides, I'm Calvin's friend. I deserve to be here."

"Rose, sweetie, what do you think?" Jackie asked.

Rose nodded listlessly. "Yeah, fine. Whatever."

Hobbes sighed. "This is the worst position I've ever been in. I'm trapped in a house until my friend recovers with a woman who once threw me out the window. What did I do to deserve this?"

"Maybe you were Vlad the Impaler in a previous life," suggested Ace.

Hobbes looked slightly disgusted for some reason.

Rose sat next to where Calvin lay on the couch, and brushed his spiky hair back from his face. "Is he going to be okay, do you think?"

Hobbes laughed, actually laughed out loud. "Of course he's going to be okay. Calvin's fallen off more cliffs than you could ever believe!"

"He didn't fall off a cliff," Rose said. "He shot himself."

Jackie mouthed the words _he shot himself_ in slight shock, staring at Rose. Hobbes looked uncomfortable. It was Ace who spoke. "He got better, right?"

Rose smiled thinly. "Yeah. I guess he did."

Jackie exited the room, and came back a moment later with several steaming cups of tea. She sent a nervous glance at Hobbes. "Wasn't sure what you tigers like to drink, so I made Earl Grey. Is that-?"

"It's fine," Hobbes said with a smile, which seemed to reassure her slightly. He took his cup carefully, and sipped. "That's great tea."

"Thank you," Jackie said, handing out the rest of the mugs. Rose took hers, and downed it in one go, not even seeming to notice how hot it was.

"So what do we do now?" Ace asked. "You said I could rebuild my motorbike."

Hobbes shrugged. "Sure. Whenever you feel like it. There's a bunch of workshops in the Time Machine."

"Ta," Ace nodded.

Jackie looked, if possible, even more horrified than before. "You have a _motorbike?_ "

Rose sighed. "Leave her alone, Mum."

"I will _not_!" snapped Jackie, suddenly angry. "You come in here after _weeks_ and _weeks_ of tramping across who knows where with people that you barely know, and you expect me to just let you in here?"

Rose looked at her.

"And," Jackie continued. "what's more, you broke poor Mickey's heart! He comes round here every few days, and the poor dear just drinks tea! I think that's all he does at the moment! How could you just dump him like that?"

"We drifted apart!" Rose said, with a touch of anger. "We weren't right for each other, you can see that now, can't you? Just because you have dreams of lots of grandchildren doesn't mean I need to make them come true _right now_! I have a life, you know!"  
Hobbes began looking distinctly uncomfortable, and edged away on the sofa a bit, dragging Calvin with him. Ace, on the other hand, leaned in, slightly curious.

"I'm afraid you won't get a chance, sweetie!" Jackie snapped. "I _care_ about you, is all! If you die, you won't ever be able to have children!"

"Maybe I don't want children!" Rose threw her arms up in exasperation. "You know, I don't really care what _you think_. If it weren't for..." she looked over at Hobbes and Ace. "...something that happened, I'd still be out there! Having _fun!_ Going on _adventures!_ Not needing to worry about my _own bloody mother, trying to convince me not to!_ "

She stared around at all of them, hair still disheveled from the events of last season. She nodded at Hobbes and Ace. "I'll be in my room, if you need me."

So saying, she turned on her heel, and stormed down the hallway.

"I won't be going in there!" Jackie called.

"Don't worry!" came the retort. "I didn't want you in there anyway!"

Ace got up, drinking her tea in one gulp. It had gone cold minutes ago. "I'll go after her," she said, and left. Hobbes looked nervously at the still-furious Jackie.

"Uh... are you all right?" he asked slowly.

Rose's mother snatched up a handkerchief from the table, and blew her nose loudly into it. She sniffed a bit. "No, I'm not."

Hobbes felt extremely awkward. "Uh..."

"No one wants their little girl to grow up," Jackie continued. "And mine did. So fast. I'm proud of her, but I... I want her to be six again, so I can braid her hair and choose her clothes and make her lasagne."

The tiger fell upon the right thing to say at last.

"You can do one of those," he said, stroking Calvin's hair.

Jackie frowned. "Yeah... I guess I can."

Hobbes grinned, and curled up on the couch, while Jackie went into the kitchen to make herself busy.

* * *

"Hey, Blondie," Ace greeted, throwing open the door with carelessness. Rose's room was almost entirely muted shades of pink and purple, lit with a faint yellow light. Rose lay, face down on her bed.

"Leave me alone," she said, voice muffled by the cushions.

Ace raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you're just going to sulk? Of course, that's the only obvious thing to do. When life goes wrong, storm off to your room, and cry."

"I'm _not_ crying!" snapped Rose, flipping over and flinging her covers off. Her eyes were rimmed with red.

"Really," said Ace, unconvinced.

"Shut up," scowled Rose, and buried her face in her pillow once more. Silence reigned for a few minutes.

"Jack asked you out," Ace said casually. It wasn't a question. Rose punched her pillow in response.

"And you said yes," Ace added.

"I did," Rose said, emotionlessly.

"And now he's dead."

"You don't have to sound cheerful."

"I'm not attempting to. I really am sorry. He was a nice bloke."

Rose rolled over. "I don't even feel sad, that's the problem. I _should_ feel something, I know, but the only reason I'm crying is because I know I have to."

Ace thought for a moment. "Get over it," she said finally.

Rose boggled. "Excuse me?"

"You don't need to forget him, but get on with your life. Stop moping."

"It's not just that," Rose said. "Calvin's still half-dead, and my bloody mother keeps trying to hook me back up with my ex-boyfriend."

Ace shrugged. "It's life. Deal with it."

Rose glared at Ace. "You know what? I hate you. You aren't even attempting to be sympathetic."

"I know it won't do any good if I try to be. It would be completely out of character if I try to comfort you."

Rose almost laughed. Almost. "Fair point, I guess."

The only sound in the room was the ticking of a clock, which seemed abnormally loud.

"Your mom made lasagne!" Hobbes yelled, bounding into the room, almost insane with happiness. He yelled it once more for effect, and then sped out of Rose's room. Ace raised both of her eyebrows.

"...okay."

"Mum hasn't made lasagne since I was six," Rose said, swinging her legs off of her bed, and beginning to pick the bedsheets up of the floor so she could remake them.

"Really?" asked Ace. "That's weird."

* * *

After dinner (which was amazingly good, as a matter of fact), the discussion about where everyone was going to sleep took place. It was suitably chaotic. Jackie thought that Hobbes, Ace and the _still_ unconscious Calvin should go to sleep in the Time Machine. Rose refused, on the grounds that she'd go with them if that happened. Finally, it was decided that Calvin and Hobbes could go on the sofa, and Ace could find the softest bit of carpet. She wasn't at all happy about that.

Rose curled up underneath her covers, wrapping her sheets tightly around herself. It was cold, even though it wasn't exactly snowing yet. She briefly considered going down the hallway to get a hot water bottle, but decided not to. It would be too much effort.

Down in the living room, Hobbes was equally uncomfortable. He shifted from side to side, looking at the still comatose body of his friend and Ace, who was sleeping quite peacefully.

"This sucks," he said aloud.

"I was thinking the same thing," came a soft voice from the door. Hobbes turned over. Rose was standing in the doorway, clutching a blanket around herself. She looked slightly pale. "Do you mind if I sleep in here?"

"Sure," said Hobbes. "Pull up a bit of... uh, floor."

She smiled a bit, and sat on the floor next to the couch, pulling her knees up to her chin. "My day has been really-"

"I know," Hobbes said. "Mine has, too."

She stared at the ceiling. "Jack is dead."

Hobbes paused. "Don't think too hard about it."

Rose laughed bitterly. "That's what Ace said. It's not working."

Hobbes looked at her. "Do you need a hug?"

She looked quizzically at him. "Why would I need a hug?"

"I don't know. It just looks like you need one or something-"

"Well, I don't."

"Okay."

"So don't try to give me any sneak hugs."

"Fine by me."

There was a long pause. Rose shuffled around, and attempted to get to sleep, before very quickly launching herself across the floor, towards Hobbes, and wrapping him in a massive hug.

Hobbes squirmed. "I thought you said-"

"That applies to you, not me," she said, gripping him tightly. "Plus, you're like a furry soft toy. Cuddly."

"Uh... thanks. I think?"

When Jackie found them the next morning, Hobbes and Rose were still tangled in a hug. Calvin had somehow slipped off the couch to land next to them, and his head was resting on Hobbes's furry stomach. Ace was there, too, her arm wrapped around Rose's back. None of them seemed to mind the awkward positioning.

Jackie considered waking them up, but instead just left to make breakfast.

Four days to Christmas. She could manage.

* * *

When Ace, Rose, and Hobbes all woke up, got dressed, and accomplished the major task of actually getting ready on a holiday, Ace decided to go out to the Time Machine to begin work on her motorbike. Sentience would probably help her with finding parts. Maybe.

"Let's set up the Christmas tree," said Rose after a moment of indecision.

Hobbes's face lit up with delight. "Heck yes!"

He helped Rose drag the closed-up tree to the living room. It was plastic, but it was the biggest tree the tiger had ever seen. They set it down in its plastic base, and separated the branches.

Rose frowned, and looked at it more closely. "It needs decorations." She turned to the hallway, and yelled out of the room. "Mum, where did you put the Christmas ornaments?"

"I threw them out, sweetie," Jackie called back. "You're too old for Christmas, now."

Rose fumed quietly. "I'm never too old for Christmas."

Hobbes perked up. "We have decorations in the Time Machine."

The screen door crashed as Rose charged outside, and slammed again when Hobbes followed her at about double speed.

Five seconds later, they were back in the living room, with a slightly bemused Ace helping them carry boxes full of ornaments into the living room. Hobbes flew into action, sticking stars and miniature baubles onto the green pine needles with reckless abandon. Rose helped quite a bit, too.

"Christmas is _right on schedule!_ " Rose declared proudly, looking at their (frankly awesome) tree.

Hobbes connected two wires together, and the tree lit up with a rosy red glow, which smoothly faded to yellow, then green, and to blue.

"I haven't seen a Christmas tree for _ages,_ " Ace said, sounding rather melancholy.

Rose beamed. "You like it?"

"It's _brilliant._ "

Hobbes paused. "I wish Calvin was here to see this."

Another crash, twice as loud as the one the day before, sounded from out the front. All three of them glanced at each other.

"Alien invasion?" Rose wondered.

"Probably," Ace said.

"Let's go and stop it," said Hobbes.

And they ran out the front door, letting in several more flies that would add to the collection they had accumulated within the house thus far.

* * *

In actuality, the crash outside wasn't an alien invasion. It was Calvin, in his pajamas, looking rather stunned after falling off the roof.

"You're awake!" Hobbes yelled in delight, and pounced him. They rolled over across the parking lot for a while.

"I heard the words 'Christmas tree'," Calvin said, spitting out a mouthful of gravel, and scrubbing at his face.

Rose stepped up to him, and slapped him across his face.

"I guess I deserved that," he admitted, rubbing his red cheeks.

She then burst into tears, and hugged him tightly.

"And," he continued, smothered a bit. "I'm fairly certain I _didn't_ deserve that."

Rose squeezed a bit harder.

"Mph," said Calvin, which meant, _I would really appreciate it if you stopped hugging me to death, thank you._

"Eck," said Rose, which meant, _I missed you so much, you arrogant moron._

Ace smiled slightly, which meant, _this is a really cute moment between two people who are usually arguing, so I'm not going to ruin it by interrupting or anything._

So she didn't. The hug carried on until Rose's mum called them in because she had made dinner, and screamed because Calvin was awake.

* * *

The next morning, Rose was underneath her covers, head buried under a pile of pillows, and trying to get some sleep. She shifted.

 _Rap-rap-a-tap-tap._

"Go away, Calvin," she mumbled. "It's five-thirty, it's too early for this."

"But, _Ro-sie,_ " he moaned. "It _snowed_ last night!"

She half opened an eyelid, and considered it. Snow was a tempting suggestion. But it was early, and she was tired. She pulled her duvet over her head. "Go play in it by yourself."

The door burst open, and Calvin tumbled in, already in his snow gear. He blinked at her. "Please?"

In response, she threw one of her pillows at him. It missed, but the point was made.

"Aw," he complained, and scrambled up onto her bed, leaning in close to her.

"What is it?" Rose muttered. "I said no."

"Do you," he said, practically bouncing with excitement. "want to build a snowman?"

Her eyes opened fully, and she shoved the covers off, Calvin with them, before bounding to her cupboard to get her jacket.

* * *

"She said yes!" cheered Hobbes, who was already rolling a ball of snow. It was about the size of a really huge marshmallow. And by really huge, I mean enormous.

"Against my better instincts, yeah," Rose grinned. Her cheeks were already becoming red from the cold, and she wrapped her red-and-gold scarf around herself tightly. "Should I make the head?"

"I've got a carrot," volunteered Calvin happily. They got to work, rolling the balls so that they'd slot together well. Rose's snowhead was stuck on top of it. She frowned at it.

"Calvin," she said. "Did you give it an extra eye?"

"No," he said. "Hobbes?"

"It wasn't me!"

Rose frowned again. "That is... really bizarre."

Calvin shrugged, and added another carrot, giving it two noses. "It can be a mutant snowman. Come on, let's make a snow dragon!"

They formed several arching loops from the snow, making it look like the dragon was rearing up from beneath the ground, and began to add scales and spines, as well as a head. Calvin shoved himself into the dragon's mouth, and began to scream dramatically. Several neighbourhood kids looked across the street curiously. Rose shook her head.

"Ignore him," she said in a weary sort of voice. "He's just insane."

The kids across the street nodded wisely, and went back to building perfectly ordinary snowmen. Hobbes was making a snow-tiger.

"I'm calling him Byakko," he said confidentially to Rose.

"That's nice," said Rose, and built a Dalek.

"Hey!" came a voice from across the yard. All three of them looked up. Ace was carving her way through the thick piles of the snow towards them, with a big grin on her face. " _Snow!_ "

"What is that around your neck?" Calvin demanded as if he was somehow offended.

"It's a scarf," said Ace, nuzzling deeply into it. "A friend gave it to me before he left."

Calvin scowled. "It's _huge!_ "

The words 'technicolor monstrosity' came to mind.

"And warm," Ace said. "Don't judge. Hey, is that a Dalek?"

Within minutes, she had constructed a snowman that looked suspiciously like a younger version of her standing over the Dalek with a vicious look on its face. She frowned at it. "It's missing something..."

By this time, Rose was starting to build another fairly ordinary snowman. She turned away for a moment to look at Ace's work. "Uh... that's nice."

"Thank you."

Rose looked back at her snowman. It had eight eyes around its head, making it look a bit like a spider. "Calvin!" she yelled, automatically accusing the person most likely to have committed the crime.

" _It wasn't me!_ " he screamed from across the yard. "I'm over here, Tyler. No use accusing me of a thing that I didn't do."

Rose glanced over at her snowman, which was now grinning devilishly at her. "Then... who?"  
It moved.

She screamed, and immediately shut up, having learnt by now that screaming isn't always the best solution. Instead, she tried the fairly reliable method of running away as freaking fast as you can manage, which worked nine times out of ten as far as she was concerned.

"The snowmen are moving," called Ace loudly, noticing. " _CALVIN!_ " She scooped up a massive amount of snow in one hand and chucked it at one of the snow creatures, who had just sat up, given itself another head, and started to stagger after her. The snowball knocked it back a few paces, but it quickly recovered.

"Why does everyone blame things that go wrong on _me_?" Calvin moaned, as the snow dragon began to swim smoothly across the yard, looping in and out of the snow. It roared, and a gust of fire blew from its mouth. "I had nothing to do with this...!"

Hobbes darted back and forth, dodging a snowman with an AK47 air rifle that had just began to shoot wildly, mainly at him. "We've met these things before," he added before they could all begin to play the Blame Game.

"What are they?" Rose dived behind a copse of trees, dragging Calvin with her. Hobbes and Ace followed

Hobbes looked stonily at her. "Deranged mutant killer monster snow goons. Again."


	2. Episode 1:2

**Episode 1:2- A Christmas Tail**

* * *

"How did you get rid of them?" Rose asked, leaning heavily against a tree.

"We froze them with the garden hose," Calvin said.

Hobbes coughed. "We also got grounded, I seem to recall."

Calvin sent a glare his way which clearly said _shut up now._ Hobbes shut up. Rose looked back and forth. There was no garden hose anywhere, and she said so.

"I found a missile launcher in the back room," suggested Ace hopefully.

"NO," Rose said firmly. Calvin opened his mouth like he was about to argue Ace's case, but quickly shut it. It wasn't a good idea, as far as ideas went.

"We could try chucking snowballs at them," Rose added.

Calvin shook his head. " _So_ not a good idea. Trust me on that."

After about five minutes of conversation, it appeared that no one had any bright ideas that didn't involve sub-atomic missiles and grenades.

"So, we're all resigned to dying horribly, then," sighed Hobbes, sitting down heavily on a flattish patch of snow. "Some Christmas this is turning out to be."

"Uh, no," said Calvin, brightening up. "You know how sometimes I have really great ideas?"

"No," said everyone.

Calvin nodded. "Exactly."

He threw himself outside into the direct path of the snow dragon, which had made several continuous loops around the garden and was now outside their hiding spot. " _Banzai!_ "

Rose very carefully placed her head in her hands. "Oh, dear..."

Calvin was making threatening motions towards the snowmen, and shouting obscene nonsense at them. Ace had, for no apparent reason, disappeared from the hiding spot behind the trees, leaving Hobbes and Rose to watch their friend get killed less than an hour after waking up from a near-fatal coma. They weren't actually surprised, which said quite a lot.

"Got any popcorn?" wondered Hobbes, lazily clearing snow from the place he was sitting in, as Calvin knocked the head off of the nearest snow goon. Rose shook her head mutely, and bit at her fingernails nervously.

"Out of the way!" yelled a familiar voice from across the yard. Calvin dived into a bush, and Ace sped gleefully and destructively through the snowgoons on a half-built motorbike, screaming like a banshee. Hobbes pumped a paw in the air, hooting loudly.

"The company's a bit frosty out here!" Ace yelled, kicking the gear up, and revving the motor. She plunged into the nearest clump of goons, smashing them into so much slush and frozen ice.

Hobbes started to sing _Let It Go_ quietly, much to Rose's eternal annoyance. She scrambled out from behind the trees, and swung herself gracefully up to stand in one of the higher branches so she could watch. Most of the snow goons were gone, which was good. The snow dragon wasn't, which was... bad. She shook some snow down onto her tiger friend's head to get his attention. "Hey!"

"Yeah?"

"You know how occasionally my ideas are better than Calvin's?"

"...yeah?"

Without responding, she jumped down from the tree onto the snow dragon's back, landing firmly and improbably between the crest behind its head. She held on tight as the massive white worm-like creature bucked and squirmed.

"AUUUUUGHAAAAAAHELPGAAAAAH," she yelled, which is only an approximate transcription. Calvin watched from the bushes with some amount of pride. The dragon dived straight down into the snow, and Rose spluttered and coughed as she was dragged down through the cold, icy slush. She grabbed a shovel as she was towed past it, and set about whacking the frozen beast to pieces.

She fell over when she was done, panting as she stared at the sky.

 _Achievement unlocked,_ she thought to herself. _Snow Goon Slayer. Receive ten credits and a gold medal. Level up._

"Nice job," Hobbes said, tripping over the little piles of dismembered snow goons on his way towards her. "Any chance of getting some hot chocolate at your mom's place?"

Rose groaned, and half-wished that her friends were slightly less insane, before hauling herself up to her feet. "Sure," she said. "Let's go."

As she, Hobbes, Calvin, and Ace (still towing behind her half-wrecked motorbike) tramped back up to the apartment, it was extremely obvious that no one had noticed the almost-destruction of the Earth via snow goon.

* * *

The next morning, Rose was woken way too early by obnoxious loud singing and clanging.

" _ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY BEST FRIEND GAVE TO ME- A TIGER SINGING OUT OF KEEEEEY!_ "

She threw off her covers, and stumbled into the living room, where Calvin was marching around, banging two pans together as noisy accompaniment. He stopped when she entered, giving her a charming grin that would have worked on anyone except her.

"Join me in Christmas spirit!" he cheered, and resumed marching. " _ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY BEST FRIEND GAVE TO ME- TWO CANS OF NITRO AND A TIGER SINGING OUT OF KEEEEEY!_ "

Rose threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "It's not the tiger's bad singing I'm worried about!"  
" _ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY BEST FRIEND GAVE TO ME- THREE MILLION PRESENTS, TWO CANS OF NITRO AND A TIGER SINGING OUT OF KEEEEEY!_ "

Rose gave up, and stalked back to her room, passing Hobbes on the way. He appeared to have fashioned a pair of earmuffs using two spoons and a bread roll, split in half. He gave her a big thumbs-up as he walked past.

" _ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY BEST FRIEND GAVE TO ME- FOUR DEAD DALEKS, THREE MILLION PRESENTS, TWO CANS OF NITRO AND A TIGER SINGING OUT OF KEEEEEY!_ "

Rose's complete thought patterns at the moment went along the lines of _SHUT UP_ followed by several book's worth of nasty swear words. Somehow, her mother had endeavored to sleep through all the racket.

" _ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY BEST FRIEND GAVE TO ME- RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER!_ "

...and now he had changed songs again. Fantastic.

Rose decided to go back to her room and wrap presents, since there wasn't much point in trying to get to sleep. She closed her door just as Calvin launched into an enthusiastic rendition of 'Africa', complete with beatboxing, despite the fact that it really wasn't a Christmas-y song.

* * *

"So," Rose said, leaning against a pillar in the Time Machine. "Is there any point asking why you can't just make another Transmogrifier Gun? It'd be easier than going through all the process of making something else."

Calvin stopped banging two pieces of steel together to look at her. "The key component to the Transmogrifier's pretty rare," he told her. "We're not going through that mess again just to build another one! Why else do you think I just build one instead of making a few spares?"

"Actually, we still have the old model around here somewhere," Hobbes cut in.

"Why not use that?" Ace wondered.

"It's box shaped," said Hobbes, raising an eyebrow. "and definitely not portable."

"Oh," said Sentience, swinging her legs from a strut in the roof. "That. I integrated it in myself as part of my evolution. It tasted all weird. Like spinach and icecream."

"Well, that explains all those weird things from when you were evolving came from." Calvin said, too focused on his work to get annoyed or surprised.

"So... what are you building instead?" Rose asked. It was weird that Calvin hadn't just kicked her away while he was was probably the whole emotional trauma, and the fact he had been acting a bit off since he regenerated. It would probably pass soon. Probably.

"Well," Calvin scratched his head, thinking of how to phrase it. "You know how annoying it is that my watch is directly connected to the Time Machine so every time it malfunctions or there's some sort of interference it doesn't work?"

"Uh, so you're making a better watch?" Hobbes wondered, munching on a tuna sandwich

"Nope," Calvin grinned, resuming his tinkering. "I'm making an Ultra Ommi Hacker Tool. When this baby is ready, I will will be able to hack anything like a movie hacker, instead of the usual boring way. I won't be able use it to open looks unless they're digital..."

"That's what explosives are for, though," Ace put in, and Calvin nodded in agreement.

Rose was about to ask how Calvin could build a hacking tool. After all, he wasn't a hacker himself, and hacking wasn't a usual part of most people's education. After a moment, she decided it probably was better not to ask.

"So, you're making an UOHT?" Hobbes asked

"Yep. I also created a safer version of Nitro-9 using play-" he coughed."Uh, using plasticine and other ingredients. It basically acts as a very malleable plastic explosive. It's mostly to blow up door and walls. Just don't spit on it unless you want something to go _boom_." Calvin said, pointing to a table in the corner that had what it looked like a basket of a generic plasticine that definitely wasn't a brand product.

A spit activated explosive? Yes, definitively something Calvin would do.

"You stole that from me," Ace accused with her arms folded, so maybe not.

"So... you have a safer way to blow stuff up and you are working on something to hack any computer, electronic device or database you want," Rose listed on her fingers, and suddenly stopped. "What's going to stop you taking over the universe?"

"Hobbes will carry the explosives most of the time and the UOHT can only be used if both me and Hobbes agree to. It will also genetically be coded to us two, so don't even try to steal it."

Ace rolled her eyes around innocently.

"Behave," said Calvin. "And I'll make one for you. Failing that, I'll find a lollipop. Go enjoy the pool or something, I need to focus on this."

He went back to work.

"Hobbes, get me the red stapler, the number 3 wrench, and the guide to hacking for hyperactive six-year-olds we got in a garage sale."

"Why?" Hobbles asked and licked his paws, trying to get every last speck of tuna. He was glad Calvin was alive, but still grumpy at having lost one of his lives.

"Because..." Calvin began, and stopped, rolling his eyes. "I don't have time for this. Just get it and I promise, we'll get fresh tuna in our next stop."

"Deal!"

As Calvin and Hobbes went to work on the UOHT, that left the supposed adults with free time.

Never mind the fact both Calvin and Hobbes were about one hundred years old.

Rose looked at Ace.

Ace looked at Rose.

"How did you first got involved in time travel?" Rose asked, with a lack of anything else to say.

Ace scrutinized her, as if weighing up how likely Rose was to betray her, and how easy it would be to take her out if she did.

"Well... I met this guy; I used to call him the Professor, some years ago. He was a time traveler, and he went around helping people and saving Earth... until... something bad happened, and he was gone. Then I found you, Calvin and Hobbes... and you seem to be doing quite a good job doing what the Professor did."

Rose opened her mouth, wanting to ask more, but was interrupted rather rudely by Sentience dropping them all into the pool, changing their clothes into old fashioned swim wear. The girl herself then dived in behind them, screaming " _BANZAI!_ " and wearing nothing but a bikini and a maniacal smile.

Rose treaded water, thinking that it was actually rather nice to have a swim.

And then Sentience landed on top of her.

* * *

Hours later, Hobbes was resting until the artificial sun of a spring valley inside the Time Machine, while Calvin had found one of his old 'Spaceman Spiff' guns and was repurposing it. Ace and Rose were having a picnic with Sentience and were a tad worried that Calvin was still working and wasn't opening up the Time Machine to let them out.

Sentience was about to bite into a jam tart, before she seemed to space out for a moment."Uh oh..." she breathed.

"What?" Rose panicked, instantly. "Alien attack? Another evil Calvin? Maybe a danger to time-space continuity?" Rose asked. While she hadn't died herself, seeing the other insane Rose had made her slightly more paranoid about this sort of thing.

"Well, I was just thinking," Sentience frowned. "The timeline you two came from no longer exists, as Grandfather was erased from existence. Calvin and Hobbes are protected from that happening, because their hometown is stuck in a time loop. But we might find alternate versions of you two. And that would be bad."

" _What_?" Both Rose and Ace asked at the same time.

Sentience raised her hands, somehow managing to do that and finish her tart at the same time. "Hey, calm down. I have a built in paradox detector that Calvin and Hobbes uses to avoid running into past or future versions of themselves. I could help Ace install a portable one in her bike and Rose might be protected from having a time clone due to her Bad Wolf self... or not. The whole universe was reset, we don't know if it still operates under the same rules of time travel. And Calvin can feel it, is not just dying what made him have a sour attitude."

"What do you mean about he can feel it?" Rose asked, glancing over at Ace, who seemed to be thinking about something.

"Calvin seems more in tune with time that he was before. I know because he, Hobbes and me are connected."

"Wait... what do you mean by 'connected'?"

"Spoilers." Sentience said, smiling with a Cheshire Cat-like grin.

* * *

The calendar on the side of the kitchen door read '2 days to Christmas'. Calvin had given up singing songs, and was very quietly drawing up blueprints in a tiny section of the living room. They may or may not have had the legend 'G.R.O.S.S.' embossed in the corner of the page. Ace had declared that she was finished with her bike, but would stay for Christmas dinner. She could never resist a party, apparently.

Mickey had stopped by. No one really knew what had happened, but Rose had dashed away from the encounter in tears, and the front door had been slammed, so no one felt inclined to ask into the matter.

The younger kids on the street had become quite fond of Calvin, who frequently disappeared outside with Hobbes to lead wild games of Calvinball up and down the road, and sometimes into nearby houses, too. Rose sometimes joined in on these shenanigans, and when she did, she was the loudest and most enthusiastic of them all, yelling out crazy rules with reckless abandon.

Jackie knew, though, that she was trying to distract herself from having to make a choice between home and travel.

* * *

Christmas Eve is an exciting night in any household. Hobbes and Calvin had drawn up ideas for a 'Santa Trap' which was immediately vetoed by Jackie, who sent them to bed with a scowl. Rose stayed up late, staring into the fire with her hands cradling a mug of hot chocolate.

"We wish you a merry Christmas," she sang under her breath. "We wish you a merry Christmas-"

She stopped, and glanced over at the presents already nestled underneath the Christmas tree.

"Yeah," she said, smiling to herself. "Christmas is right on schedule."

"Talking to yourself's the first sign of madness, you know," said Ace, popping out of nowhere. Rose screamed, and nearly fell out of her chair, splashing hot chocolate all over herself. "Don't do that!" she spluttered angrily.

"Sorry," shrugged Ace, not sounding sorry at all. "Merry Christmas."

Rose grinned. "You too. You'd better have got me some great presents, or I'll do something very nasty to you."

Ace curved her lip slightly at Rose, which probably meant she had, and pulled out several apples and oranges from her jacket pocket (which Rose had become increasingly suspicious that it wasn't all it seemed). She then proceeded to fill Calvin and Hobbes's stockings with them.

"Tradition," she said, smiling somewhat uncomfortably. "Or... do you mind?"

"No," said Rose firmly. "It's fine."

She quietly padded back to her room, and snuggled herself under the blankets.

* * *

She was woken by the sound of someone chanting quietly, _merrychristmasmerrychristmasmerrychristmas_ over and over.

"It's Christmas," she said, sitting up with a bright grin.

"Indeed," Hobbes cheered, falling ignobly out of her closet and onto the ground. " _Oop!_ "

"The question that begs to be asked," said Calvin, who was perched on her side table. "Is, why Hobbes was in your closet."

Rose pushed him off. "No, the question that begs to be asked is why _you're_ in my room!"

"Is anyone going to comment on my being here?" wondered Ace, who was hiding under Rose's bed.

Rose shrugged. "It's kinda expected that you do insane things once in a while."

"Presents," said Calvin, drawing everyone's attention to the matter at hand. All four of them brightened, and then stampeded down the hall together.

As it turned out, everyone had gotten a fairly decent amount of presents, and a large heap of wrapping paper was piled in the corner.

"A horn," said Ace, irony dripping off every word of her voice as she opened Calvin's gift to her. "For my bike, I suppose. Thanks."

Calvin stuck his tongue out at her. "You think so little of me. Try honking it."

Looking apprehensive, she did. The sound was so loud that it left everyone's ears ringing for several minutes. Calvin had gotten Hobbes several cans of tuna, and he had (in turn) given Calvin two boxes of Snicker Bars.

Rose handed Calvin a large box with much ceremony. He tore into it eagerly, and pulled out...

He launched himself at her, and hugged her around the middle.

"Thanks," he said happily.

"No problem," she said, grinning.

"Wait," Hobbes said, frowning. "What did you give him?"

Rose whispered in his ear, and he immediately grinned and nodded. "Good choice."

Ace rolled her eyes. "I'm not ever going to ask."

Calvin had given Rose a gingerbread replica of the Time Machine. ("It's bigger on the inside!" Rose squealed.) Hobbes had gotten way too much tuna to even be safe, and Calvin had sent Sentience something he called a Randomizer that she could attach to herself.

"What does it do?" Hobbes asked, and Calvin had just shrugged.

"You press the button on the top, and it does something," he explained.

"But _what?_ " Rose demanded. Calvin just gave her a vague look and wandered off.

* * *

Later that day, Calvin was loading all his stuff into the Time Machine, and Ace was pulling her motorcycle out. Everyone was preparing to leave. And Rose was standing in the middle of it, split between two worlds.

"You aren't coming with us?" Hobbes asked Ace with a slight pout. She tilted her head and smiled.

"The universe needs me not killed by one of your crazy plans. But we'll see each other again soon, right?"

"Right," said Hobbes, but he was still pouting a bit. Ace shook her head.

"Get your priorities straight, tiger. You don't need me. Look at Rose."

He did, and saw that she was sitting on top of the apartment roof again, staring out at the cityscape, and the recently repaired Big Ben.

"You coming?" he yelled up at her.

She somehow managed to convey 'mmph' from several meters in the air. Hobbes and Ace looked at each other.

(In the background, Calvin flew out of the Time Machine on a barrage of angry insults from Sentience, who he had dropped a heavy crate on.)

Hobbes climbed up to the roof.

Rose looked a bit sad. "I might not come," she said, somehow knowing Hobbes was there without turning around.

"What?" He sat next to her, curling his tail around them both.

"I have a life here too, you know," she pointed out. "And you two don't need me to save the universe."

Hobbes was quiet for a minute. "I think we do."

"Liar."

"Never."

Rose grinned, and elbowed him. "Oh, shut up."

He wrapped a furry arm around her. "Not a chance."

The sun shone down on them, and a stray gust of wind blew scraps of rubbish across the rooftop.

"Look," said Hobbes at last. "I know that it's your choice, and I do admit you... sort of have a life without us. But I have one thing to say before you choose."

Rose looked up. "What?"

Hobbes blinked at her beseeching. " _Please?_ "

Rose stared at him, almost in disbelief. For a second Hobbes thought she was going to storm off the roof or something.

And then-

"Oh, all _right!_ " she cried, hugging him tightly. "Fine, let's go, quick, before I change my mind!"

Hobbes beamed.

* * *

Calvin was firing up the engines, and singing a duet with Sentience as Hobbes and Rose bounded into the Time Machine together. They were both horrible singers, and the fact that the song was _Friday_ didn't help matters at all.

"Shut up," Rose requested loudly, kicking the console. Sentience yelped and clutched her rear end, glaring at the human girl.

"Are we going or _what?_ " enthused Hobbes, bouncing around the console room. "Worlds made of smoke, cities made of song, here we come!"

Calvin grinned, and pulled a large switch down. "Indeed!"

"To adventure!" said Sentience, conjuring a goblet of a suspiciously red liquid and holding it high.

"And excitement!" Rose added, snatching the goblet from Sentience and throwing it pointedly to the floor, where it shattered.

"And really wild stuff!" Hobbes cheered.

"There is one word in the English language that will fit this situation," began Calvin. "A word that brings hope to all that hear it, a word that every human child will eventually know..."

Everyone looked at each other.

"GERONIMO!" they chorused.

The Time Machine spiraled into infinity, and broke the barrier of thought and logic.

* * *

Ace watched as the Time Machine disappeared. "Well, they seem to be having fun."

Jackie glared pointedly at her. "I want to know what the hell you're still doing here."

Ace could sense when she wasn't wanted, and hurriedly left.


	3. Episode 2:1

**Episode 2:1- Fairy Tale**

Somewhere out in the far reaches of Space and Time...

There's a golden ball of light and energy that hangs eternally. It was once the galaxy's one source of everything to do with time travel. A culture that categorized everything that had ever happened, was happening, and everything that ever will in an endless archive of information. The race that did this was well known for mostly keeping out of everyone else's way. Never interfering. Always observing.

And now this race; this culture, it's gone. There was war, unimaginable war, across all of the eleven dimensions. Picture a game of chess. Except there's an infinite amount of boards, all conjoined at seemingly random places, and the boards are superpositioned and spinning at a thousand kilometers per hour and there's pieces on the board that you could have never dreamed of and thousands of players.

And you aren't sure if you're playing black or white or even silver.

And any piece at any time can disappear, never having existed.

It wasn't like that at all.

It was a million times worse.

This planet, this world that was destroyed by the worst war that has ever been and ever will be, its name is lost in the distant depths of history. Some from the old worlds whisper tales of it, but for the most part, it's never mentioned.

This world was home to the Time Lords.

Its name was Gallifrey.

And it's locked away in time and space. No one can get in, no one can get out.

Except...

...there's recently been stirring in the space around where Gallifrey used to be. The vortisaurs have been swooping and scattering. Could it be possible that Gallifrey... is returning?

Nah.

It'd never happen.

I'm getting sidetracked, anyway. You're here for something else entirely.

* * *

 **OPENING CREDITS**

* * *

 **Welcome back! Unfortunately, it looks like updates from now on are going to be few and far between. And this isn't even that good of a chapter. Oh well. At least I got around to it, eventually.**

 **So, this is very heavily inspired by 'Oh No It Isn't!', which is a Bernice Summerfield audio story (and a book which I haven't read, but I'm reliably informed that it's quite good). It's almost completely crack. Don't take much of it seriously. I was just trying to have some fun and get back into writing again. I also had no idea what I was going to title it, so I went with something pretty stupid. :P Sorry.**

 **Also, there's a lot of singing involved this time! So yay!**

 **Um, for those who read Golden Keyblade's Omniverse Event, I'm going to be posting a new short story for that fairly soon (next month) so keep your eyes peeled.**

 **Thank you for all of the lovely reviews so far! Even if I haven't responded to you, I read each and every one of them. I'll try to reply to you all this time; but just a reminder: if you're on Guest, I can't answer anything that you say. Log in if you really want your questions answered, or I'll just sit there beaming at them and getting nothing done. :)**

 **Ahem. Forwards!**

* * *

"Right, then," Rose said, flipping the scanner screen around. "Where are we this time?"

Calvin sat on Hobbes's shoulders behind her. "A lovely green valley filled with flowers and daffodils. Huzzah."

Rose scowled. "Don't be sarcastic."

"I wasn't. Look."

Under closer inspection, it appeared that Calvin was right. They really _had_ landed in a lovely green valley filled with flowers and daffodils, among other things. It looked like something out of _The Sound of Music._

"Do we go out, then?" Hobbes wondered.

"Of course we do." Calvin hopped off his friend's shoulders, and sprang up onto the trampoline. "See you guys up there!"

He disappeared up through the hole in the roof. Rose shrugged, and followed, as did Hobbes.

Calvin was already inspecting a daisy, peering at it closely through a magnifying glass he had pulled out of nowhere.

"Earth," he reported. "Probably."

Rose rolled her eyes. "We _always_ land on Earth. Why don't we ever go to any other planets?"

Hobbes decided not to answer her question.

There was a castle in the distance, which all of them deemed a good point to go to. They set off at a normal pace, chatting and laughing about nonsense, because that's the sort of thing you do when you're with friends on a sunny day.

At some point, they came to a yellow brick road, upon which they all stopped and glared suspiciously at it.

"It looks like it's directly from the Wizard of Oz," Hobbes said.

They all looked at each other, and simultaneously linked arms and began to skip down the road, singing like a bunch of morons and probably looking like nerds, just because no one was there to tell them off.

" _FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!_

 _FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!_

 _FOLLOW, FOLLOW, FOLLOW, FOLLOW,_

 _FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!_ "

They attempted to go into the next verse, but failed, collapsing into giggles and still skipping.

"This is the best place we've ever gone to," Rose practically sang, beaming brightly. "Why don't we ever go to more places like this?"

Hobbes frowned. "Wait, I thought you _liked_ going into death-defying situations and warzone."

Rose stopped quickly, and glanced at him accusingly. "You've been doing that on _purpose?_ "

Hobbes blinked. "...no!"

"Good."

They all resumed walking, but after fifteen minutes the castle hadn't got any closer and the sun had inexplicably started to go down. Funnily enough, none of them commented on that.

"Look," said Calvin, pointing. "A cottage. Maybe we could stay in there for the night?"

"Good idea," Hobbes said. "The lights are off. Looks like no one's home."

The cottage was, again, extremely fairy-tale-ish. The door was unlocked, and as Hobbes had so rightly assessed, no one was home.

The interior, however, was the messiest any of them had ever seen.

" _Ugh,_ " said Rose, making a face and picking around piles of dirty laundry. "Who even lives here?"

"Dwarves?" Calvin suggested, noting the smaller-than-average furniture. "Or midgets?"

"Whatever." Rose yawned, and absently began to pick up rubbish from the ground, sorting everything out. "I'd better clean up. Can't stand a messy house."

Hobbes pounced onto the tiny couch and curled up. Rose started to hum a tune, and Calvin trekked upstairs to find somewhere to sleep.

"G'night!" he called.

Rose found a broom somewhere and started to sweep dust into neat little piles. She grinned as she did it- housework was one of the rare pleasures she enjoyed-

" _Wait a second,_ " she accused the world at large, stopping. She flung her broom aside. "I hate cleaning up! My room is completely filthy! So why-?"

Then, just outside, she heard singing.

" _We save, save, save, save, save, save, save,_

 _In our bank the whole day through,_

 _To save, save, save, save, save, save, save,_

 _Is what we really like to do!_

 _It ain't no trick to get rich quick,_

 _We save, save, save, save, save, save, save,_

 _In our bank the whole day through,_

 _To save, save, save, save, save, save, save,_

 _Is what we really like to do!_

 _It ain't no trick to get rich quick,_

 _When you work in the bank,_

 _With a calculating stick,_

 _In a bank!_

 _In a bank!_

 _Where the machines click and clank!"_

Rose stared incredulously out the window, where seven small people were approaching. "Oh dear god, _please no..._ "

" _Heigh-ho, heigh-ho,_

 _It's home from work we go!_

 _Da-da-da-da-da, dum-de-dum-dum-dum,_

 _Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho..._ "

The seven small figures continued to approach, and they marched through the doors. They had cute little caps. They carried calculators on their backs. They were dressed in cute business suits.

"Let me guess," Rose said flatly. "Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, someone that I don't remember, and Doc, right?"

They all stared at her.

"Uh, no," said the fat one in front. "I'm Flabby."

"You don't look that bad to me," yawned Hobbes, waking up.

"EGADS!" screamed a small person- probably a dwarf- that looked vaguely feminine. "A GIANT CAT MONSTER! SAVE US, FAIR MAIDEN!"

All the dwarves crowded hurriedly behind Rose, who looked like she was either about to burst out laughing or start screaming.

"Uh," she said. "Begone, foul beast?"

Hobbes shot her a _you-have-got-to-be-kidding_ look and crossed his arms.

"He's my friend," she explained to the dwarves, who were huddling in a pile, holding onto her legs, and generally being weird. At this, they instantly brightened.

"Ah, then," said 'Flabby'. "Any friend of this fair maiden is a friend of ours!"

 _Fair maiden,_ Hobbes silently mouthed.

 _Shut up,_ Rose mouthed back.

"I am Flabby!" announced Flabby again. "And these are my associates. Deafy, Hungry, Nifty, Puffy, and Tearful!"

Rose counted off on her fingers. "That's only six. What about that one over there?" She pointed into the corner, where the smallest one was huddled.

"Oh," said Puffy dismissively. "We just call him Bob."

"A dwarf named Bob," said Hobbes. "...okay..."

"We are greatly indebted to you for cleaning up our humble home, fair maiden!" Tearful exclaimed, sobbing a bit. "But not so indebted that we'd give you any money or anything."

Rose blinked. "Uh, well, it was nothing."

"She's so modest!" cried Hungry.

"And so pretty too!" added Nifty, wiping a tear from her eye.

"No, I mean, it was literally nothing. I actually didn't do anything apart from pick up this broom."

"Oh," said all the dwarves at once.

"And my name's 'Rose', not 'fair maiden'. Also, if you tell me that my name is as beautiful as I am, I'm going to use this broom to punt you out the door."

"Fair enough," decided Puffy.

Bob squeaked.

"The least we can do," said Deafy, "-apart from actually giving you money, which of course we aren't going to do- is give you somewhere to stay the night."

"Thank you," replied Rose. "We were going to crash here anyway, but it's nice to get permission."

"I think our friend's stolen your beds," Hobbes added.

"It's okay," said Flabby. "We can sleep on the floor."

"And what about me?" Rose demanded.

"We shall be your mattress."

Rose blinked very slowly, then turned and walked very deliberately to the couch. "Budge up, you," she said to Hobbes, and curled up next to him.

"Suit yourself," said Tearful, sobbing a bit.

* * *

Calvin walked downstairs the next morning, and tripped over a dwarf.

"Who left that lying there?" he demanded.

Rose yawned and fell off the couch. "Oh, good morning Calvin. We seem to have found the house of the seven dwarves. Except their names have gone all weird, and they smell funny."

"Business as usual then," Calvin concluded, and went into the kitchen to get breakfast. "Does oatmeal sound good?"

"Sure," Rose shrugged. "Also, I appear to have become Snow White."

"That's ridiculous."

"I know!"

The kettle in the kitchen whistled as it boiled. "No, I mean, you're nowhere near pretty enough to be her. And you can't sing."

Rose glanced over at the broom that was still in the corner, and had several very interesting thoughts involving it and Calvin.

As Calvin began to make oatmeal for nine people and a tiger, the dwarves started to wake up. They had fallen asleep in their work clothes- business suits- and had somehow managed to sleep without a single wrinkle appearing in them. Quite impressive, really.

Calvin served breakfast- actually really good- and then they prepared to set out again.

"We must come with you!" exclaimed Puffy. "It is our sworn duty to protect princesses of the first class!"

Calvin raised an eyebrow. "Two problems with that. One, she isn't a princess, and two, you look like bank accountants, not knights."

"We _are_ bank accountants," said Flabby, a bit huffily. "But _still._ "

Calvin sighed, and stalked to the door, flinging it open. "Come on, guys. Let's get going."

He made as if to walk out, but Hobbes tackled him to the floor before he could. Calvin opened his mouth to launch an angry tirade against his friend, but then looked out the door. The ground was about fifty feet _too_ far away.

"We're in Rapunzel's sodding tower," Rose breathed, summing up everyone's reactions. "How the hell did that happen?"

"Well," shrugged Hobbes. "There's one thing that we can do, then."

"What's that?"

* * *

Five minutes later, all seven dwarves were swinging from the tower, tied together at the hands and feet. Oh yes, they were screaming loudly as well. Tearful was crying a bit, too.

"Stop whining and hold still," Calvin screamed back. "I'm trying to climb down!"

"THIS IS SUCH A STUPID IDEA!"

"Well, of course it was!" Rose yelled from the ground, where she had already climbed down to. "It was an idea from a tiger! Why did you even trust him!"

"You said we could trust him!" said Flabby, who was closest to the ground.

"I lie occasionally! It's part of my job!"

"And what _is_ that job?"

Rose considered. "...saving people, I suppose."

It was at that precise moment, when Hobbes and Calvin were about halfway, that the rope around Puffy's ankles decided to give way, and all seven dwarves plummeted to the ground along with their two passengers. Needless to say, there was a lot of mixed dwarven swearing.

"We did it," said Hobbes happily, lying on his back.

Calvin's watch beeped, and he lazily hit the 'answer call' button. "Bob's Mozzarella Service, we cut the cheese and aim to please!"

" _Hi!_ " chirped Sentience. " _I hadn't heard from you for a while. Just thought I'd check to make sure you hadn't destroyed the universe while I wasn't keeping an eye on you._ "

"You think so little of us," Calvin said, rolling his eyes. Rose scrambled over.

"Sentience?" she asked.

" _Yup, it's me. What's up?_ "

"It's a movie about a man, a kid, and a bunch of talking dogs," Hobbes interjected. "But apart from that, we appear to have stepped into _Snow White._ "

" _Anything I can do?_ "

"Well," said Calvin, glancing over at the dwarves. "You could start by running a scan on this place. Can you tell us exactly where we are? It's not quite right."

There was clicking from over the line. " _It'll take me an hour or so. This place is pretty big._ "

"Fine," said Hobbes. "Just get back to us when you're done."

" _Will do. Time Machine out!"_

The line clicked, and she was gone.

Calvin, Hobbes and Rose all looked at each other.

"To the castle?" suggested Rose.

"TO THE CASTLE!" cheered all the dwarves, who had snuck up behind them. Rose screamed, and started to chase them angrily down the yellow brick road.

* * *

The castle was looming up ahead. Their journey towards it had been easier, somehow, and apart from an encounter with a cat wearing boots, completely uneventful. The yellow bricks of the road had faded into a deep turquoise. The dwarves had regaled them with tales of banking, which weren't actually that exciting. Bob had climbed onto Hobbes's back at some point, and he was fast asleep as they approached the moat.

"Hello there!" yelled Calvin. "Anyone home?"

The dim figure of a guard on the battlements detached itself from the shadows, and moved to the edge of the tower. "Who goes there?"

"Me, a tiger, a girl, and a bunch of dwarves!"

"Dwarves?" yelled the guard.

"Yeah!"

"Where'd you get those, then?"

"We found them," added Rose loudly.

"Found them?" the guard demanded. "Around here? Everyone knows that dwarves are _tropical!_ "

"What?" demanded everyone on the other side of the moat.

"Well, this is a temperate zone," the guard began to explain, but was cut off by Nifty.

"Not that," she scoffed. "Dwarves aren't tropical. We should know."

Calvin blinked. "We seem to have stumbled into a John Cleese movie as well as Snow White." He raised his voice. "Look, just let us in, will you?"

The guard actually appeared to brighten. "Wait, what if a swallow carried them over?"

"Let us in!" screamed Hobbes at the top of his lungs.

"Fine, fine," grumbled the guard, and the drawbridge lowered.

"Thank God for that," Rose said, and led them all into the castle.

Inside, they were met with a troupe of noblemen in their finest robes and regalia. They all seemed to be bowing down to them. Calvin instantly brightened.

"That's right," he said, pleased. "I am your master, puny mortals, and as such, you will listen to every word I say and obey them accordingly! As my first order, I want you to make me a large mug of hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows. Then get me a black cat to stroke menacingly, 'cause I've always wanted to do that, and then get someone to coach me on my Evil Laughs, because I need to work on-"

"What?" said one of the men. "We're not bowing down to _you._ "

Calvin froze with an annoyed expression on his face. He spluttered for a moment. "That's not _fair,_ " he decided. "Who are you bowing at, then?"

Trumpets blared in the background, and a king-shaped figure strode in.

"I am the King!" he announced unnecessarily. "And, my dear, it is so good to see you again after all this time!"

It took everyone a moment to realize he was talking to Rose.

"You know her?" Hobbes asked.

"Of course!" the King exclaimed. "She is my daughter. All hail the Princess Rose, returned to us at last!"

"All hail Princess Rose!" the dwarves cheered as one, and the rest of the noblemen took up the chant. Rose suddenly noticed that she was now wearing a rather ostentatious flouncy pink stereotypical dress, complete with that strange pointed hat with streamers that princesses apparently wear. She wouldn't have minded that much if her sensible shoes hadn't been replaced with glass slippers as well. She muttered some swearwords that Ace had taught her under her breath and wished fervently that it was just her imagination.

Alas, it was not.

"All hail Princess Rose!" cried Flabby loudly, and streamers rained down around her.

"What," said Hobbes very quietly. "the heck is happening?"


	4. Episode 2:2

**Episode 2:2- Fairy Tale**

* * *

Rose had been taken to a stone room in the tower that was furnished with drapes and cushions that were surprisingly comfortable for a middle-ages type time period. She didn't much care. The first thing she had done after she heard the guard's footsteps receding down the hallway was lunge for the doorknob. It rattled in her hands. Locked.

She swore again, a tiny bit louder than last time, and set onto making her dress a bit easier to run in. She tore off strips from the base so she could move without half-waddling, and kicked off the glass slippers, wincing as they shattered against the far wall. "Oops."

She felt a little better with the constricting dress no longer completely plastered about her body. It felt like a corset had been magicked on with the rest of the outfit, which was another thing she'd have to remedy rather soon.

"I'm a princess, not a prisoner," she said aloud, a bit grumpily.

"I thought you weren't either," said Hobbes from outside of the door. Rose yelped and jumped a mile into the air, before rushing to the door and pressing her face against the bars.

"Get me out of here," she begged. "The poofiness is driving me insane."

Hobbes sounded apologetic. "Actually," he said. "I was sent here to bring you to the ball. They bribed me with awesome boots. I have no regrets."

Rose recoiled from the door. "A _ball?_ What for?"

"For you, apparently," Hobbes replied. "'The return of our beloved Princess Rose' or something like that. Are you sure you haven't been here before?"

"Positive," Rose grimaced. "I'd remember something like this." She looked down at her ripped dress and shattered shoes. "Uh, we have a problem."

"What is it?" Hobbes unlocked the door, and entered. He froze, looking at her incredulously. "...going for the punk chick retro rocker look, I see. Um."

"I thought we'd be out of here soon!" Rose defended herself. "Why can't we just _leave?_ "

"Because Sentience just got back to us," Hobbes told her, beginning to root through the wardrobe in search of something appropriate for his friend to wear. "And I think you'll want to hear it."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Rose had redressed into a silvery ballgown that felt a lot more comfortable, and was heading down the hallway with Hobbes. They were greeted about halfway by a red-and-black ball of energy that vaguely resembled Calvin.

"Thisplaceisn'trealit'sapsychicconstructionbuiltfromourmemories," he babbled insanely at them.

"What?" Rose caught him by the shoulders, stopping him where he stood. "Repeat that. But slower."

Calvin breathed in deeply. "It's a psychic manifestation," he explained. "That's why this place makes no sense at all. It's an amalgamation of every fairy tale or folk story that we've ever heard of or read about-"

"-or watched on the Disney Channel," added Hobbes.

"Exactly," Calvin agreed. "These type of things are usually put in place for a _reason._ "

"What possible reason could anyone have for making me a princess?" Rose demanded.

Calvin considered. "...to make a ludicrous parody of you?"

Rose sighed, and they all headed towards the ballroom. "We can go mingle," she said.

Calvin rubbed his hands together. "A party. This sounds good. I _do_ like parties."

"Announcing the crown Princess Rose!" called the herald as they passed through the doors. "And her noble servants, Puss-in-Boots and Rumplestiltskin!"

Calvin looked back and forth to see who the herald was talking about, before the penny dropped. "... _Rumplestiltskin?_ "

Rose just snickered, as the court musicians struck up a rousing number that sounded an awful lot like _Shake It Off._ She hitched up her dress, and whirled off into the crowd of dancing people, to much appreciative applause and some whistles.

Hobbes looked at Calvin, and shrugged. "Mingling it is."

They linked arms, and strolled off towards the most interesting-looking person in the room- namely, a mysterious figure in a black cloak. Because, due to length experience, they both knew that the mysterious figure in the black cloak was almost always responsible for any mishaps that may or may not occur.

"Oi," said Hobbes mildly, tapping the black-cloaked dude on the arm. He jumped a mile into the air, and landed with surprising grace.

"Who the hells are you?" he demanded. Hobbes took a flourishing, old-fashioned bow.

"Puss-in-Boots, at your service," he beamed. "And this is-"

"-most definitely _not_ Rumplestiltskin," Calvin interrupted hurriedly. "We were wondering, er, if there was anything you could tell us, about, um..." He floundered for a moment, before Hobbes dove in to help him.

"We were wondering if you've ever heard of the Brothers Grimm," he said. The black-cloaked man shrugged.

"Well, yeah! Of course I've heard of them! They wrote down and recorded some of the most famous fairy tales on Earth and... um..."

Calvin and Hobbes were both giving him a Look, complete with raised eyebrows and crossed arms.

"-damn," he sighed. "I've been found out, haven't I?"

"Sure," said Calvin, who wasn't quite sure exactly what they'd found out. "You'd better take us to your leader, hadn't you?"

"Fine," he huffed, throwing back his hood and revealing a slim, rat-like face. "You'd better follow me."

* * *

"This is her," said the man, flinging open a door. Calvin and Hobbes both cautiously peeked in.

Inside the fairly dark room was a woman, lying on a slab. She was barely breathing, and was hooked up to a vast amount of machines that were measuring her medical state and keeping her alive. Calvin stepped forwards curiously and examined her. She had short-cropped. dark brown hair and, by normal standards, was pretty beautiful.

"Who is she?" asked Hobbes. "Sleeping Beauty or something?"

The man snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. She's... well, I suppose she's the one keeping this entire place together."

"Huh?" Calvin and Hobbes said together. The man pointed at the largest of the machines.

"Dreamscape generator," he said shortly. "Everything here's pulled from stuff she's seen or read about. Including me, so I could fail to exist at any time."

"Ah," Hobbes realized. "That explains a lot."

"Like the fairy tales," Calvin nodded. "And why we're all being crammed into stereotypes."

"Except for the dwarves," Hobbes added.

"Yes," sighed the man. "Except for the dwarves. I have no idea why they're accountants, really."

"And her?" Calvin said, motioning towards the sleeping person.

"Schrodinger's Girl," said the man. "Neither alive nor dead, until one specific person comes to look for her."

"And what happens when that person comes to look for her?" Hobbes asked.

The man simply shrugged. "That's the nature of the paradox. But I wouldn't worry about that."

"Why not?"

"The person who was looking for her- he's dead."

* * *

Hobbes raced off to get Rose- this was one of those things that she really should be around for, otherwise she'd get techy later. He turned a corner, and skidded into the main hall again, (ignoring the herald's announcement of his arrival) immediately searching for the familiar flash of blonde hair.

He spotted her almost instantly. She was dancing with a pretty handsome guy in the centre of the floor, who Hobbes instantly nicknamed 'Prince Charming'. They were both talking as they waltzed- Rose was laughing at something that he had said.

Hobbes almost felt guilty about breaking in. But this was an emergency, and needs must.

"Rose," he said, quickly intercepting the dancers. "We've found the source of this place's craziness."

Prince Charming stopped and frowned at him. "Are you insulting my lady's honor?"

Hobbes quickly tried to work out what he was doing wrong. "Er... no. I just happen to need her for-"

"We must fight to the death!" Prince Charming declared, and pulled a large, dangerous-looking sword from nowhere.

"Now, hold on just a minute," Hobbes protested, looking to Rose for her to intervene. But she was simply staring at the oncoming duel with fascination.

"Let the duel continue!" she cried. "This foul feline has insulted my honor!"

"Oh, no," Hobbes mumbled. "Not you too..." He thought quickly. "I don't even have a sword!"  
Someone passed one into his paws from behind, and he stared at it for a moment.

"Thanks a lot," he muttered sarcastically. Prince Charming attacked.

Hobbes managed to hold his own for about ten second, parrying the sword thrusts. The crowd moved out of the way as Prince Charming started to drive the tiger backwards. Hobbes knew he was in trouble, and jumped towards the bannister, hooking his claws around the railings.

He was now hanging several metres in the air, and Prince Charming was slashing at his tail- which really, _really_ hurt, actually.

"Rose!" he yelled desperately. " _DO SOMETHING!_ "

Rose Tyler stared at him, then came to her senses.

She tackled Prince Charming to the ground with a textbook rugby move that she had learnt from Ace the week before Christmas. He went down with almost no effort at all. Hobbes dropped easily to the ground, dusting off his paws. "Thanks."

"No problem," she said, getting up. Her dress was ripped slightly on one side. "That was _weird._ It was like... I wasn't myself, or something, like I was actually a Princess." She shuddered.

Hobbes started towards the door, ignoring everyone's stares. "We've found out what's causing this. Come on."

Rose looked at everyone, and gave them a cheery wave. "Resume normal activities," she said. "The crisis is over."

Before leaving, she gave the almost comatose Prince Charming a firm kick up the backside. The creep had been trying to feel her up the entire time while they were dancing. She couldn't imagine how her princess-self had ignored it.

* * *

"Aha, there you are," said Calvin, looking up as Hobbes and Rose entered. "I'm just about to wake up the person responsible for all this."

"The person responsible for all of this is a comatose woman?" Rose asked, frowning.

"Pretty much," Hobbes replied. "How are you doing it?"

Calvin grinned, and his spiky hair had never seemed more apt or mad-scientist-like then at that moment. "Why, with electricity, of course!" He held two jump cables up. "I really shouldn't be doing this, but it's the only way."

"You're going to _electrocute_ her?" Rose yelped. "-no way!"

Calvin eyed her seriously. "Tyler, do you trust me?"

Rose considered for a moment. "No."

"Clever girl," he said, and jammed the jump cables together. The woman on the table gasped suddenly, jittered for a second, and sat up, screaming. After a moment, her scream cut off, and her eyes focused on Calvin.

"You shocked me," she said, a touch indignantly, hands leaping up to brush down her hair, which was all over the place from the electricity. She had a rather distinctive American accent that sounded slightly fake "A six year old just pumped a million volts of electricity- _holy mother of god that's a tiger what_ -"

"It wasn't really a million," interjected Calvin, sounding just a tad offended.

"Excuse me for exaggerating!" snapped the woman. "I'm still a bit confused- wasn't I _dead?_ "

"Yep," said Calvin. "And now you're not. Or maybe you are."

Rose frowned. "You're being cryptic again."

Calvin shrugged and grinned, as Hobbes began to disconnect the woman from the wires and tubes around her.

"Tiger," said the woman faintly, pointing. Hobbes waved cheerfully.

"I'm Hobbes," he introduced himself, with a slight bow. "And that's Calvin… and Rose…"

It took the woman a moment to process this, and she nodded. It took her a further second to realise that this was probably the point when she was meant to tell everyone _her_ name. "I'm Peri."

"Peri," repeated Rose, and smiled genuinely. "You know, I feel like a cup of tea. How about we all get some?"

"You're British, aren't you?" Peri asked Rose, as Hobbes helped her off the table.

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," she said, smiling.

* * *

"Here's the thing," said Calvin, over a cup of tea. He pointed at Peri. "If you leave this planet, the universe will take a spot check on whether you exist or not."

Peri examined her arms, as if checking for imperfections. "But… I do exist."

"Yeah, but as far as the universe is concerned, there's something like a fifty-percent chance that you don't."

Rose stirred a lump of sugar into her tea. She still had no idea how Calvin had managed to find any, but it was okay-ish. "There's an even chance that she might survive or not?"

"Pretty much."

Peri frowned. "I really don't feel like gambling with my life."

"She could just stay here," Hobbes pointed out.

"I don't much feel like doing that, either," Peri objected. "It's a big universe out there, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life confined to one planet."

Calvin spread his hands out on the wooden table. "It's not so bad here. But really, there's not much of a choice. Apparently the only person who can get you out of here alive is dead."

There was a silence.

"Well, who are they?" Peri asked.

Calvin shrugged. "The guy who told me this… he's gone now… he said that the man's name was the Doctor."

Peri went white with shock, and her mouth dropped open. "… _what?_ "

Things hadn't gone very well from there.

* * *

The sky had darkened- in reflection of Peri's darkening mood- and she had politely requested that Calvin, Hobbes and Rose leave. They had agreed- somewhat reluctantly. The American woman had made quite a good case, anyway. The people in this place were friendly, the food was good, and hey! Continuous parties all the time.

Despite that, she still looked kind of sad.

Hobbes had surprised her with a hug. "Don't worry. This friend of yours- he might still be alive. We'll find him if he is."

Peri smiled. "Thank you."

The trek back to the Time Machine was a much more subdued affair than it had been before. There was no spontaneous singing, and the one time that Sentience had called, no one had bothered to pick up.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, as they entered the interior of the box. "I thought you were dead or something! What hap-" She cut herself off at the expression on their faces. "Ah. I see."

Calvin collapsed into the strategically placed beanbag that lay off the side of the console. "Yeah."

Sentience considered, tapping her finger on her lips. "Hm. Popcorn?"

"Yes, please," said Hobbes.

"On it." She collapsed into pixels.

Silence reigned supreme.

Then the phone rang.

* * *

 **Um, okay. Some bad news. I don't think I'm going to be finishing this thing- or, at the very least, it's pretty unlikely that I will be. More information in the next chapter, when it comes... it shall be fairly soon, promise.**

 **Thank you for all of the lovely reviews and support, however. You guys manage to brighten up my day.**

 **Oh, and- Perpugilliam Brown. Companion to the 5th/6th Doctors, American botany student, suffered a rather tragic fate. But she was awesome. Really awesome. It was a pleasure to write her. :3**

 **~Kitty**


	5. Finale (end of an era)

Hello there, and welcome to what will most likely be the last chapter of this odd little series that everyone seems to like for some strange reason. I've got a lot of messages and reviews asking why I'm stopping here, and I told everyone that I'd be putting it all in this chapter, so. Here we go.

Backstory time: when I started _Spinning Through Space_ (I was about 11 years old at the time), I had a whole ton of ideas and plans for this series. I originally planned to go all the way from the very first episode of Doctor Who (An Unearthly Child) and right up to Series 8 (which was what was being aired at the time)- yes, I somehow had the insane thought that I was going to do _all_ the Doctor Who. All of it. After a couple of weeks of turning this thought over and over in my head, I realized- nope, this wasn't plausible. Okay, I said to myself. What if I… just do New Who?

And so this series was born.

When I wrote the finale to _Spinning Through Space,_ I had plenty of ideas for the next season, as you can probably see from the 'teaser trailer' that I put up for it. I've still got all of those ideas, but not enough motivation to actually, you know, _write them._ School's exploded, real life's exploded, I've got into so many new fandoms, and I have so many ideas for stories that I can't write because I always feel guilty about not updating _An Awful Lot of Running._

TL;DR- **I've lost motivation for this whole thing. I can't keep writing for it without everything sounding forced and without humor, and I'd like to stop it before it starts getting worse.**

I'm better at writing oneshots and short stories, really. Chaptered stories are the bane of my existence… -_-

However, I have some good(ish?) news- well, it all depends on how people feel. I'll tell you all about it at the end of this 'chapter'.

For now—here, have all of the plotlines and short scenes that I wrote for the rest of this season! ^-^

* * *

 **Episode 3- The Howling Wind**

This would have basically been a kind of Halloween- themed episode in which there would have been a werewolf, and Jo Grant. I hadn't really got as far as the ending, or even the middle, but it was kind of a cool concept. I started this episode, and got a reasonable way into it- you can see it below. :)

* * *

"Hello?" said the woman into the piece of plastic and nanotechnology in her hand. It crackled for a moment, and then a voice drifted out.

"Ace? Is that you? How did you even get our numb-"

"That doesn't matter," the woman interrupted. "Look, I'm in a bit of trouble at the moment, and-"

"I didn't even _think_ this thing had a telephone."

"Sentience installed one for me."

"Ah." Pause. "Look, we were _planning_ to have popcorn and a movie night. I don't really feel like an adventure right now."

She slid down the wall she was leaning on. "How about this: werewolves."

Pause.

" _Werewolves?_ " said the voice from the device eagerly. "Cool!" There was a beat. "Uh… I mean, no. Absolutely not."

The woman couldn't help but grin. "You're interested, I can tell."

"Am not _._ "

"Are so."

A sigh. "Okay, maybe just a bit. But… we were going to watch _Back to the Future…_ "

"Ooh, really? I love that movie!" said the woman eagerly, then composed herself. "Seriously, though. Please?"

"All right," said the voice grumpily after a second of deliberation. "But only because you saved our butts all those times. And you owe us."

The woman's grin spread a bit more. "I always do."

"I'll get Sentience to track the call. See you soon!"

"Will do." With a click, the call disconnected, and the woman slipped it into her pocket, standing up. She considered the shadows for a moment.

"Come on," she said loudly. "I know you're out there."

There was a snarl from the shadows, and a looming shadow formed.

"Come and get me," she yelled.

Five seconds later, a scream echoed through the entire castle- loud and indignant. It was rapidly cut off.

Five minutes after that, a small cardboard box formed, and its occupants trooped out- to the rescue.

But they were already too late.

 ** _(opening credits segment goes here)_**

"The island's called Transylvania," reported Hobbes, reading from a OmniPedia article he had printed out. "Sounds ominous, right? That's because it is."

"Spare us the theatrics," Rose yawned. "Get to the point."

Hobbes tucked the paper under his arm, and shrugged. "The point is that there's been a series of mysterious murders there recently."

"Ace mentioned werewolves," pointed out Calvin. Rose just laughed.

"Werewolves don't exist," she said.

Calvin jumped up to sit on the console, and idly played with a few switches. "That's what you said about those mutant hamsters."

She looked vaguely embarrassed. "Yes, well…"

"And Donald Trump," Hobbes chimed in. "You didn't believe us when we told you about him."

Rose sniffed. "I still stick to the firm belief that he's a figment of everyone's imagination."

"I don't think anybody has a wild enough imagination to create _him,_ " Calvin said, setting co-ordinates. "So. To Transylvania?"

"To Transylvania," Rose sighed, shrugging. "It wasn't as if we were going to do anything _interesting…_ "

* * *

The castle had stood on the island for many years, and it didn't look as if it were about to stop doing that anytime soon. Big, black, and imposing- it ticked all of the boxes for the application form 'creepy secret vampire hideout'. It was the only castle of its kind on Transylvania, and it was the centre of all the mysterious disappearances. It was on this particular castle- right in front of it, in fact- that the Time Machine landed, on half-past twelve at night.

Sentience waved the three time travellers off with a vague, mom-like warning to 'not go playing with any bug-eyed aliens, and to wrap up warm'.

"Nice place," said Hobbes as soon as he set eyes on the castle, and they all stood there, admiring the view for a moment.

"If I ever grow up to become a ruthless dictator," Calvin said decisively. "I'm _so_ getting a castle like that."

Rose sighed. "Calvin, you're _never_ going to grow up."

"I know," he said, with a touch of mournfulness. "But, hey! It's good to have live goals, right?"

With that, they made the short walk to the front doors of the castle- as big and imposing as the rest of it- and read the inscription in bronze over them. _Heartshaven Castle._

"Heart Shaven?" Calvin read aloud with a frown.

"I think it's meant to be 'Hearts Haven'," said Rose helpfully.

"Cool name, either way," Hobbes concluded, and knocked twice on the thick wood of the doors. The sound seemed to echo in the silence of the night, and there was the muffled sound of running footsteps from inside. Then, a clicking noise, and the doorknob twisted. The door opened slowly, with a dreadful squealing that came from no-one having oiled it for quite a long time.

Calvin, Hobbes and Rose exchanged apprehensive glances.

The door reached a point where it was open enough for a face to peer out. It was a woman- quite old, but with friendly eyes and short blonde hair that hung around her face. When she spoke, it was with a cheerful British accent.

"Oh!" she said, sounding rather surprised. "I wasn't expecting visitors, especially not while, well…" she trailed off. "You _do_ know about the murders?" she asked, rather uncertainly.

"That's kind of why we're here," said Rose.

The woman opened the door a bit further. "You'd better come in, then," she said, with a smile that seemed to light up her whole face. "I'm Jo. Ace said you'd be coming."

* * *

The inside of the castle was equally as dark, but someone- probably Jo- had attempted to brighten up the place a bit with some strategically-placed torches. Rather than making it cosier, it had the effect of casting looming shadows across every wall. Wind whistled through cracks in the walls. It was, all in all, quite desolate.

Jo noticed the way that Calvin, Hobbes and Rose were looking around the place, and shifted a bit sheepishly. "It's nicer in the west wing," she explained. "The original owners used to live there. I think they left the rest of the castle this way to freak people out."

"That's what I'd do," remarked Calvin mildly.

"Don't ever become an evil genius," Hobbes sighed. "The universe would never survive it."

The west wing was indeed rather nice. It was styled in a comfortable manner, with a lot of squishy furniture around. Calvin picked a particularly fluffy couch and dove onto it with great enthusiasm.

* * *

 **Episode 4- School Reunion**

The summary for this episode in my notes went as follows: _An investigation at Calvin's old school turns out to be just that bit more deadly when aliens from his past, as well as an old friend, turn up._

I remember being really excited for this one, mainly because it would have seen the return of Susie Derkins and a lot of the original comic strip characters. Here's the main plot points that I had in mind for this one:

\- It opens at Calvin's old school, with Calvin sitting down in class as usual with the rest of his classmates, and being obnoxious/annoying/all the other stuff we remember from the comic strip… and instead of Mrs Wormwood walking in to start the class, it's Rose, who has somehow managed to fake her teaching degree. Go figure.

\- It centres around Calvin trying to readjust to school life from several years of travelling around (and failing miserably, but everyone else just figures that he's just being weird like usual), Hobbes trying to find an alien threat while Rose and Calvin keep everyone distracted, and Susie becoming increasingly suspicious.

\- Everyone in the school finds it really weird that Ms Tyler actually _likes_ Calvin, and he seems to like her back, although he insults her and is generally obnoxious in her class.

\- The alien threat gets out of control at some point.

\- Susie proves that she's badass.

\- It ends with Calvin & crew dropping off Susie in the 19th century in England so she can get on with her life in a different part of the world (wink wink Madame Vastra wink)

* * *

 **Episode 5/6- The Silver Sands/Frozen Metal**

All I've got for this two parter are some vague notes that I made like a year ago and some things that I pieced together from thinking about it really _really_ hard. So here's the summaries for the two episodes-

 _The Silver Sands-_ _With Mickey on board, the travellers set off again. Destination- Morocco. But what they find there may be more than just scorpions._

 _Frozen Metal- The time links are deteriorating. The universe is collapsing. There's only one thing that they can do... it's not the best option._

So, as you can probably see, these two mark the return of Mickey Smith (somehow… I don't remember how I was going to go about doing that). As you can also probably guess, they were going to involve the Cybermen. It was going to be kind of based off _Rise of the Cybermen/Age of Steel_ and there was going to be a parallel universe theme too?

Also, Sarah-Jane Smith would have been in there too, definitely. That was definitely a Thing That Was Going To Happen.

* * *

 **Episode 7- Wild Side**

So, as of this episode, Mickey would have been gone. This was kind of vague too, but here's the things that were going to happen.

\- CAMPING TRIP IN WISCONSIN. That's what this was going to be about. Because why not.

\- Rose, Calvin and Hobbes try to go without technology for a week, because also why not. This includes anything Calvin's ever built, and Sentience, by the way.

\- That part from the trailer where they sing 'When I'm Gone'? This is where that happens.

\- Aliens keep invading.

\- Cute stargazing scenes.

\- That's it. That's the story.

* * *

 **Episode 8- Mummy of Paris**

Mmmm, Paris. Mmmm, mummies.

To start off this, I'll give you the opening paragraph of how this story would have gone:

* * *

The woman on the motorbike spat out blood from her mouth, and gunned the throttle viciously, sending the bike careening through the streets of Paris.

City of Love. Huh, that was a laugh.

It would have a lot more love if she'd have the chance to stop and appreciate it, she supposed. And maybe if the killer mummies behind her would stop chasing her. The bloody things were absolutely relentless.

Speaking of which...

She pulled the bike sharply sideways so she could reach into her bag and pull out two silver cans. She twisted the cap off one, and threw it as hard as she could. It spun through the air, and landed in a side street. It lit up with a bang as the high-powered explosive inside the can went off.

She laughed. "Wicked," she said under her breath, and sped up a slanting roof, jumping off the side of it when she got close enough. Her bike would have collapsed long ago if it weren't for the improvements she had made a while back.

(The mummies were still following her, she'd better get a move on)

The bike landed with an earth-shattering crunch on street level, and she turned off into a side street, pulling out a sleek black mobile phone with one hand, and pressing a speed dial button. She tossed the other silver can behind her to where she knew her pursuers were, still. A satisfying boom echoed behind her, but she didn't have time to appreciate it.

"It's me," she yelled into the phone over the roar of the bike. "I could use a lift! And possibly a rescue, while you're at it!"

She grimaced, and ricocheted off a wall, using the momentum to bounce up to roof level. "Look, I said I was sorry about last time! Is it really my fault that you got attacked by a mutant snowman...?"

She pressed the phone between her shoulder and her ear. "Just hurry, yeah?"

Quickly hanging up, she stuffed the phone back in her jacket pocket, and changed direction completely, and did the most stupid thing that she had done that week.

Well, maybe not that week. The past few hours, maybe?

It didn't matter, because now she (and the bike) were falling from a hundred metres up towards the ground.

A cardboard box whirred into existence below her just before she hit.

"Okay," said the six-year-old boy standing in front of a row of computer banks and whizzing gears. "Who did you blow up this time?"

* * *

As you can see, this would have been another story involving Ace. Also, I'm fairly certain that Bernice Summerfield would have shown up in some form, or at least as a cameo.

The plot, as I had it in my head, went like this:

Calvin & crew touch down in 18th century Paris, but Calvin and Hobbes are busy fixing the Time Machine/Sentience, so they tell Rose to go off without them. Shortly after that, they get the call from Ace telling them to pick her up. Ace drops in (as shown) and tells them that she's found Rose. In a sarcophagus. Dead.

I have no idea where this would have gone.

But still. Mummies! In Paris! What's not to love?

* * *

 **Episode 9- Mission: In Hospital**

Again, just vague notes. Here's the summary:

 _The hospital on Terminus has many secrets, not least of which involve a mysterious gas that creeps at night._

So yes, this story would have featured Nyssa of Traken. Because Nyssa's awesome. Here's what would have happened.

\- The story opens with Hobbes and Rose frantically dragging an unconscious Calvin into the hospital, refusing to tell anyone what had happened to him. Nyssa (who doesn't know them, obviously) takes charge of the situation and puts him under intensive care.

\- Hobbes and Rose really don't know what's happened to Calvin at all. He piloted the Time Machine to crash on Terminus for unknown reasons.

\- Meanwhile, a sentient gas is going about, suffocating patients in the hospital horribly. Nyssa tries to investigate, bumps into Hobbes and Rose, who are doing the same thing, and they all get suspicious of each other.

\- Calvin disappears, and everyone panics

\- Turns out that Calvin engineered the whole thing in order to trap the sentient gas that had some special significance that I couldn't quite work out (?)

* * *

 **Episode 10- The Monster Hunters**

Okay, but if I feel guilty about abandoning this series for one reason only, it would be _this_ episode, since Golden Keyblade suggested it to me and helped me develop it, and it's _such_ a good concept.

Opening monologue (by Golden Keyblade):

 _A long time ago, when I still lived at home, I used to think there were monsters under my bed. But a lot of time has gone by, and now I know better. Now I KNOW there were monsters under my bed. And even though they seem scary in the dark..._

 _...they're even worse in the day._

This would be a spooky-ish story in which Calvin, Rose, and Hobbes go and try to get rid of the monsters underneath a kid's bed, Ghostbuster's style. Actually, as a matter of fact- remember these lines from the trailer?

 _(Cut straight to Calvin, Hobbes and Rose standing in front of a house, decked out in black suits.)  
CALVIN: Who you gonna call?  
(The house shakes, they all glance up nervously.)  
ROSE: Maybe... we should get Ghostbusters in this time?  
HOBBES: Not likely._

Uh huh. They were meant for this episode.

So, stuff that happens:

\- Calvin mentions that he learned the monster's weaknesses from 'fighting off the ones back home'

\- The name of the species of monsters is 'phobivores'- they, quite literally, feed off fear.

\- Lots of joking around in the face of danger, lots of horror movie clichés

\- The kid is young Melanie Bush ( _ooooh_ plot twist! Yeah no)

I also really wanted this dialogue to happen.

 _CALVIN: You don't think this is weird?  
MEL: Why would I? Stranger things have happened.  
HOBBES: Stranger than a group of strangers crashlanding in your room in a cardboard box? Do tell.  
MEL: Well, there's Belgium.  
ROSE: …Belgium?  
MEL: Yeah, Belgium's pretty weird, isn't it? If it can happen, this can._

* * *

 **Episode 11- Night At The Museum**

I have literally nothing for this episode except for the title, and the vague knowledge that it would have probably been something to do with the paintings at the Louvre coming to life. *shrug* Also, a Classic companion would have made a return here, but I really don't know which one.

* * *

 **Episode 12/13- 2012/Doomsday**

 _According to the Ancient Mayan calendar, the world was supposed to end in 2012. And it didn't. But now Calvin has hatched a plan to see what really happened to the world. A plan that will take them to the dawn of mankind._

So, the finale, right? You'd probably think I have a lot of stuff for this one. You'd be wrong.

I just thought it would be a really cool idea if the prophesized 'end of the world' in 2012 had _actually_ happened, but something Calvin & co. (Ace would have been there too) had done to prevent it rewrote time or something. A doomsday machine or something, I dunno. So, there's nothing really defined there.

What I'm _really_ clear about is what would have happened _after_ they'd disabled the doomsday device and stuff. Here's what would have happened:

Gallifrey would have returned.

Something I'm kind of sad about in Series 9 of Doctor Who is how there's no mention of Romana on Gallifrey. WELL I HAVE POWER IN MY FANFICTION AND I SAY THERE SHALL BE ROMANA SO THERE. (Ignore me, I'm an idiot)

Romana is President of Gallifrey in this universe, and the doomsday machine was somehow linked to the return of Gallifrey in some bizarre convoluted way. Also, the fact that Charles (the dinosaur, remember?) keeps appearing in and out of stories with nobody noticing he's gone would have been addressed.

Remember these lines from the trailer?

 _(Flash between images of a white screen, and footage of a woman in a red cloak stepping forwards.)  
SENTIENCE (V.O.): There's not just one universe.  
CALVIN (V.O.): Do you know this woman?  
WOMAN (V.O.): I've always survived.  
(Rose's shocked face, close up.)  
WOMAN (V.O.): And I always will.  
ACE (V.O.): But... it can't be._

Yup, the WOMAN is Romana. Woohoo.

So, basically, at the end of the story, Rose is trapped in an alternate dimension (much like the original Doomsday) and Calvin and Hobbes are freaking out because she's like their _best friend_ and now she's gone-

And then Donna materializes. :D

* * *

That's about it, as far as _Calvin Who_ goes.

So yes. I'm really grateful for all of the support and lovely comments and every single message that you have ever sent me- and even you guys that lurked in the background, only following this story, and not doing much else. Love you all. *mwah*

It's highly unlikely that I'll ever do much more in this fic's universe.

But I'd love it if other people could do some stuff of their own.

So, this is for all you people who've offered to help write this thing with me, or just want to write a thing. Go wild, people. If you want to take one of the concepts that I've listed above for unwritten episodes, and turn that into a proper story, _go for it_. If you want to make up a new plot, _do it please, I want to see it._ If you want to write an AU in which Evil Calvin from _Faction Paradox/ Bad Wolf_ never got killed and went on to take over the universe… I really want to see that, _do it to._

In other words- *Shia LaBeouf voice* **JUST. DO IT.**

But if you do, tell me about it, since I want to read it and review it and add it to my favorites list.

So, as for me? Well, I'm going to be on this website for a very long time (hopefully!) and I very much hope that I'll write some stuff in fandoms that you like. I'll just be hovering around, though, while I finish my latest project, and then I'll be off to write some more stuff for the Omniverse Event (check out the TVtropes page for that if you don't know what it is). And then? Who knows?

This is Kitty Eden, a.k.a. TheBigCat, signing off from the Calvin Who universe.

 _-March 2016-_

* * *

"Hey, Calvin?"

Calvin looked up from the computer that all of them were gathered around, reading the final chapter of _An Awful Lot of Running_. "What is it, Tyler?"

"Does this mean that we're gone?" Rose asked with a frown. "You know, since there's going to be no more things in this series?"

"Don't be stupid," Ace interjected, folding her arms pointedly. "Didn't you hear what she said? Some people might write new stuff for us."

"Yeah, but what if they don't?" Rose pointed out. "Will we just… I don't know, drift around in time and space forever?"

Hobbes grinned and shook his head. "Are you kidding me? Of course that won't happen."

"Do you really think _anyone_ could keep us in one spot forever?" Sentience laughed, twirling around and turning into a bird that flew up to perch in the high rafters of the Time Machine.

"Exactly!" Ace crowed.

"Come on, guys," Calvin beamed, getting up from where he was sitting. "Let's go on an adventure!"

"Where to?" Hobbes asked, already working at the controls, spinning around the central console to reach at the hard-to-get levers.

"Does it matter?" Calvin said cheerfully.

"Wherever the wind takes us," Sentience decided, forming back into her normal, human-shaped form. Charles crawled out from the rafters and along her shoulder.

"Exactly," Hobbes agreed, and hit the switch.

" _Geronimo!_ " everyone yelled together.

* * *

 **The End**

* * *

 _No, not the End._

 _…_

 ** _THE BEGINNING._**


End file.
